1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold
everything in, yet you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an
effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it
to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it,
and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always
getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick people up.
8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed
much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought
it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it
gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to
push, he keeps trying!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right, there's a 90%
probability you'll get it wrong.
The things that come to those who wait will be the
things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in
a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine
for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself
In the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough
to get out of jury duty.